Tag: advice for college parents

The College Parent Trap – Rantings and Advice About Parenting College Students

Okay this is for my fellow parents of college students. Can we talk about mixed messages for a minute? From the moment our children sprang forth into the world we have been told in every way imaginable to be attentive to and engaged in their education and development.

Read to them. Get the right mobile to hang over the crib. Read to them. Get toys and games that help them to learn. Read to them. Get to know their teachers. Be a classroom volunteer (read to them and other people’s kids). Coach youth sports. Chaperone field trips. Follow what they are learning and partner with their teachers. Encourage them to read. Be involved with their school community. Continue reading “The College Parent Trap – Rantings and Advice About Parenting College Students”

On Starting College: You’re Supposed to Make Mistakes

You’re about to start college and you’re excited.

There is a whole new and exciting world that is about to open up for you. You’ll be living in a new place and taking fascinating classes and making new friends. It’s going to be awesome and you’re going crush it.

Really.

But here’s the thing…

You’re also going to make mistakes.

You’re going to do stupid things.

You’re going to do poorly on a homework assignment or a paper or an exam. Continue reading “On Starting College: You’re Supposed to Make Mistakes”

College Application Download

Tuesday afternoon I was sitting in the stately, wood-paneled admissions office meeting room at an upstate New York liberal arts college waiting for the information session to begin when a Facebook message from an old friend pinged onto my smartphone. I was 27 hours and two campus tours into a three day, five state, 982-mile college tour with our son, Henry (a rising high school senior) and the message from my friend – we’ll call him John because, well, that’s his name – was an unexpected and welcome distraction while the other prospective students and families filed into the room.

As it turns out, John, who is also the parent of a high school senior immersed in the college search process, was writing to ask about the relative merits of using the Common Application versus an individual college’s application if they accept both. It’s a great question. Continue reading “College Application Download”

On College Drinking: Be Smart. Be Safe. Be Respectful.

Let’s talk about alcohol.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” He might have been right. Or he might have been full of… well, let’s just say it.

You will hear a lot about alcohol and alcohol policy at your college and some of it will be true and some of it will be full of it. As with most things, more often than not important points get lost in the translation when things get paraphrased and repeated casually. Continue reading “On College Drinking: Be Smart. Be Safe. Be Respectful.”

August “To Do” List: 5 Steps to a Successful College Transition

Okay it’s August and it’s getting real for all you students about to start college. The post-graduation buzz has subsided. Your summer job has moved past “so-so” and is rapidly closing in on “please-make-it-be-over.” You’re done filling out housing forms and medical history forms and course registration forms and every other freaking form they sent you during June and July. And while you are definitely getting excited and anxious for college to please just start already, it’s still too early to begin packing. So at this point all that’s left is to hang out with your friends and wait, right?

Well, sure, you could do that. Or not. Continue reading “August “To Do” List: 5 Steps to a Successful College Transition”

The Summer Between

The summer between high school and college is a unique moment in time. It is punctuated at either end by massive life moments and a flood of competing emotions which cover the full spectrum, from pride and joy to nostalgia and loss. And confusion. And for parents, it is at once wonderful and awful.

High school graduation is simultaneously a celebration of achievement and the passing of a mile marker on life’s journey that requires special acknowledgement. It’s much more than successfully completing a prescribed set of courses and collecting a diploma on a sun splashed football field while an under-staffed school band croaks out a tinny version of Pomp and Circumstance. It is unmistakably the official end of childhood. And for parents, it is at once wonderful and awful. Continue reading “The Summer Between”

This and That: Some Things to Consider as You Prepare to Start College

Hey, I get it. It’s late on Friday afternoon in July. You’re thinking about beating the traffic and maybe getting an early start on your weekend. Fair enough.

But I know too that for the students (and parents/families of students) who will be starting college this fall, the day you have circled in red on your calendar is fast approaching and there is still a lot to do to get ready. And that nagging voice in the back of your head keeps reminding you that you are probably forgetting to do something that you didn’t even know you needed to do.

So, I thought I’d share some thoughts on a few random items that often fly under the getting-ready-to-go-to-college radar. I’ve even conveniently put them in a bulleted format so that you can print them out and have a tidy little list to stick under a magnet on the fridge. Here goes: Continue reading “This and That: Some Things to Consider as You Prepare to Start College”

Roommate Knowledge

As if there weren’t enough to think about starting college – classes, books, dining halls, wireless access, etc. – on top of everything else you’re almost certainly going to have a roommate; most of you, for the first time. It’s pretty exciting. But also kind of scary. Sure you can check each other out on Facebook and figure out who’s bringing what and text about summer jobs and the classes you want to take. But still…right?

Okay, take a deep breath. It’s all good. People have been doing the college roommate thing for a really long time – way before X-Boxes and Yik Yak – so the odds are with you. And, as if the peace of mind afforded by cellular technology and the long arc of history were not enough to help you to rest easy, you can add to the list of advantages you have as you embark on your first college roommate experience, the wisdom and sage advice that I am about to impart on you. Continue reading “Roommate Knowledge”

Road Trip: Everything You Need to Know About Campus Visits – Part 2

It’s time. You’ve been talking about getting serious about the upcoming college search for months and as you look at the commitments on your calendar – summer jobs, soccer camp, house guests coming in August, etc. – you realize that you need to plan a trip to visit colleges soon. Otherwise the whole summer will have passed you by and you’ll be left scrambling to squeeze one in after the school year has begun.

If your house is anything like mine, talking about trips is one thing and actually making them happen is another. For us this means that Marnie, my wife, starts saying things like, “When do you want to go on vacation next summer?” in oh, let’s say November, and I either grunt or say something along the lines of, “How the hell do I know?” in response. This goes on for several months until Marnie gets tired of asking, takes matters into her own hands, and organizes the whole thing. And the truth is, as irritating as it is for her, this generally works out. She gets to make the big decisions and knows how to tend to the details with greater efficiency than the rest of us – myself and our two sons – and everyone gets a nice trip in the end. So it’s all good. Continue reading “Road Trip: Everything You Need to Know About Campus Visits – Part 2”

Why College Matters: The World Needs You

Note to MCW readers: In light of the terror attack in Nice, France last night I want briefly to step away from my primary focus on offering information, insights, and advice about the college experience. Instead, today I offer the essay below as one way of understanding why college matters.

Here we are again. Another act of terror. Another staggering body count and extraordinary number of innocent men, women, and children – children – dead or lying in hospital beds battered and bandaged. Another community reeling, devastated by unimaginable brutality and incomprehensible loss. Another city – Nice – whose name will always be linked to tragedy – Dallas, Orlando, Paris, San Bernardino, Brussels, Istanbul, Charleston…the list goes on and on. To say nothing of Baton Rouge or Falcon Heights or Ferguson, or Chicago.

The totality of the violence and cruelty and death gets to be overwhelming. It is frightening and unsettling and disorienting. The realization that evil exists and its relentless intrusions into our daily lives shake us to the core and leave us confused and uncertain. And so we recoil. We despair. We grow defensive. We assign blame. We seek retribution. Or we change the subject and try to tune it out because it all feels too complex and fraught and hopeless.

This space is about helping you to navigate and understand and succeed in college. And more often than not it will focus on relatively narrow topics and issues – writing a good application essay, the relative importance of standardized tests, dealing with roommate issues, etc. But today, in the all too fresh aftermath of Nice and Dallas and Orlando and the rest, I want to speak to why college matters. Continue reading “Why College Matters: The World Needs You”